children laugh 146 times a day, adults laugh only 4 times a day.no wonder we're so unhappy.

what's your new name??

follow the instructions to find your new name.

use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = poopsie

b = lumpy

c = buttercup

d = gidget

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = fluffy

h = cheeseball

i = chim-chim

j = stinky

k = flunky

l = boobie

m = pinky

n = zippy

o = goober

p = doofus

q = slimy

r = loopy

s = snotty

t = tulefel

u = dorkey

v = squeezit

w = oprah

x = skipper

y = dinky

z = zsa-zsa

use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple

b = toilet

c = giggle

d = burger

e = girdle

f = barf

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = cootie

j = monkey

k = potty

l = liver

m = banana

n = rhino

o = bubble

p = hamster

q = toad

r = gizzard

s = pizza

t = gerbil

u = chicken

v = pickle

w = chuckle

x = tofu

y = gorilla

z = stinker

use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head

b = mouth

c = face

d = nose

e = tush

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k = butt

l = brain

m = tushie

n = chunks

o = hiney

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = buns

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = kisser

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = brains

z = juice

for example, george w. bush's new name is goober chickenshorts. (at least!)

this-a-way - that-a-way

prrrofile

prevention is kinder than destruction. each year over six million healthy dogs, cats, puppies and kittens are killed as surplus. remember: neuter, spay and don't let them stray!