the second shift
godammit! its monday morning right? logic and experience tell me that yesterday must have been sunday and saturday the day before. would someone mind telling me what the fuck happened to them? i feel like i’ve been smacked by an eighteen wheeler and recovery could be had for the low, low price of one reasonably laid back weekend. alright so i did a shot of jameson’s at eleven thirty yesterday morning. that’s only because i had had about nine cups of coffee and was furiously cleaning and tackling laundry; i figured a spot of irish whiskey would level things out a bit. it did.
last week got a tad intense here at the old salt mines and all i wanted was one of those deliciously girly weekends where i rest and pamper and indulge myself - but lo! - the tiny fairy that must hide among the dust in my vacuum cleaner bag did not make her graceful appearance. so no tinkling crescendo at the wave of a wand where stardust grazes every surface of my home leaving it sparkling in its wake. don’t even get me started on the wicked stepsister analogy!
here’s where i’m prepared to duck as every female whose read this far begins hurling bricks at me: in many ways women’s liberation did not make stronger women but weaker men. ouch! stay with me here. as a very young child i witnessed my older sister march off with the lavender army and return home waving arms, resplendent with hairy pits, claiming anything with a penis was the enemy. 'back off mr. solicitous-condescending-man we can do it ourselves.' it didn’t take long for those men to scratch something and say ‘um, ok, go right ahead.’
now i’m not into oppression; i believe anyone should have the chance to do any thing regardless of what dangles between their legs but wasn’t there often a delicate balance when the economy generally allowed for a homemaker? it doesn’t have to be ‘the woman’ but now that we are all crammed into the workforce those of us not fortunate enough to pay someone to clean our homes, grocery shop, launder clothes, etc. return to a rather tall list of to-do’s when our regular work day is through. am i wrong in thinking that sucks ass?
prevention is kinder than destruction. each year over six million healthy dogs, cats, puppies and kittens are killed as surplus. remember: neuter, spay and don't let them stray!